I’m overwhelmed. Do you ever feel like the world is coming down around you? That you have so much work to do that you feel dizzy thinking about it?
That’s where I’m at right now. I’m at a point where I can’t even look at my To Do list. There’s so much on it that I shut down and stare at the wall when I try to organize myself. I feel like I’m constantly catching up and not getting anywhere. Why do we do this to ourselves?
My friend took this photo a couple weeks ago on a hike in the Nambe Badlands outside Santa Fe, New Mexico. It says so much to me – and it’s a reminder that I’m part of something much bigger, and I have room to breathe.
I keep looking at it to try to put things in perspective.
Yet I get caught in the weeds. I’ve got a new book I’m promoting. I’m writing my next book (that I think will be two novels). I’m looking into putting on a festival in the fall. I’m trying to keep this Substack and my other writing going. I’m trying to create a social life. And make money, which hasn’t happened in a long time.
Oh – and the biggest thing? I feel like a complete failure.
I know this is part of transformation. I know growth is painful. And I know it’s all understandable because I radically upended my universe by moving cross-country on my own and shutting down the work I’d done for over twenty-five years.
I’ve left everything behind and walked into a complete unknown.
But, damn, it sucks sometimes.
I hope what I’m feeling right now are the creaky wheels of creativity slowing turning toward my new life.
And I hope it’ll soon be my turn.