(Photo by Pra-chid from Getty Images for Canva Pro)
The Let Them Theory is simple yet so profound. All it means is to let people be who they are. Let them have their own thoughts and opinions. Stop trying to control them. Let go, and let them be.
Practicing it might be more difficult than we realize, at least at first, but it’s a path to your own peace.
I recently watched a video from Mel Robbins where she talks in-depth about Let Them. The technique is basically the same as Letting Go and Surrender. It’s also the main prayer in 12 Step programs, said at the start and end of many meetings.
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and wisdom to know the difference.”
Our need to control others is what causes the most pain in our lives. It’s the root of most anxiety. The only thing we can change is ourselves.
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Diane Hatz is a writer, author, and inner activist. Join her email list to get monthly newsletters that include blog articles from Diane Digs and much more.
I agree with a lot of what you say here. Letting go of the oars reminded me of that great scene in “Fight Club” where he lets go of the steering wheel while they’re driving really fast.
I would add that people who are stepping all over you should be confronted. Tell them what you perceive they’re doing. And frankly cut them out of your life if it’s just all negativity from them.
I was recently on a date where my date (literally) talked for about 95 percent of the time. I made do with my meagre 5. I tried to get a word in or to steer the conversation a bit toward something else, but she always returned to her only topic, herself.
I called her on it at the end. I said that such an unbalanced conversation is not conducive to getting to know each other. Her reply was that she doesn’t get to talk to people much (on dates, and maybe generally) so she had a lot of pent-up talking to do. I left it at that, but why didn’t she have a lot of pent-up questioning and curiosity about another person too?
We have a second date tomorrow. My gut feeling is … well, you know.
Totally agree – I consider standing up for yourself to be under the 3 things you don’t just let go. Your date sounded like a nightmare! But sounds like a good character trait for a novel!….
I have ‘friends’ who would talk on the phone for literally two hours and never once ask me a question about myself. When I finally realized what was happening, I let them go.